Friday, December 24, 2010

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Geeky Game From The Punk Patriot

From The Punk Patriot:
1) Go to Google Translate
2) Select German-> German
3) Copy and past the following: pv zk pv pv zk pv zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpkzvpvzk kkkkkk bsch
4) Click listen
5) Be amazed.

You get some interesting results by switching other languages for German. Finnish, French, Italian, and Spanish are especially fun in Google Translate.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Humor of Linda McMahon's Senate Campaign

You can say a lot of terrible things about Linda McMahon, and they would be true. But, she has had the virtue of adding much needed humor to this year's nauseating election cycle. I should point out that when I was looking over past videos to put up again, I found that many of them had been taken down due to pressure from the WWE.

Here's the best political parody video I've ever seen. It was surgical in its brilliance.


Here's some hysterical video from the WWE where Linda pretends to threaten to castrate her husband.

Linda Will Cut Vince's Grape Fruits
Uploaded by mohanedkingofkings. - See more comedy videos.

Here's Ms. McMahon's current son in law, talking about the simulated necrophilia scene he appeared in while Linda was WWE CEO.


Here's something from a posting on my more serious blog, in which I explore the idea of a Sunday School run by Linda McMahon.
Now, I've found out that "Superstar Billy Graham," a former pro wrestler has been making some allegations about her that add to the comedic value of her GOP Senate campaign. From the Hartford Courant 11/18/09:
"She may look like a Sunday school teacher," Graham said, but he insists nothing could be further from the truth. "Linda McMahon's hands are as bloody as her husband's because she is aware of every move in the ring," he said.

That quote is hysterical. This is the image I get of a Sunday school run by former WWE CEO Linda McMahon.

1) The little girls would all have breast implants.

2) The little boys would hit each other with garbage cans and slam each other into precut tables.

3) The baby Jesus would have his own Titantron with death metal music.

4) The image of the "Virgin" Mary would be with her in a thong.

I'm really surprised that standup comics didn't mine her campaign for more material.

There was an even earlier posting where I took full advantage of her campaign's snark potential, asking these questions.
Is the campaign fake like the WWE?

Will she challenge her opponents to a "bra and panties match"?

If she gets elected, will she clock Harry Reid with a steel chair or a garbage can?

Will she hire an evil manager who is faking being foreign to alienate dim people and cheat in the election for her?

Will she have an announcer go on, and on, and on about her "puppies"?

Will she create a really weird angle where she fakes her death?

Will she be a Diva and brag that she is better looking than all the other women in the Senate and can kick their asses?

Will she make her Senate staffers kiss her rear end on nationwide television?

Will she get breast implants and campaign in a bikini?

Will she make WWE performers debate her and have the debates fixed in her favor?

Funny Video About Nevada Senate Race

Sharon Angle and Harry Reid both are easy targets for satire.



 

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hairy Hunks From Flickr

Click to make bigger. (If you have a touch screen, you can rub to make bigger.)


Photo: MACSURAK


Photo: Hairy_Jacques


Photo: Hairy_Jacques

Monday, October 11, 2010

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Want to See Randy Couture With Hair?

UFC hunk Randy Couture had beautiful wavy hair back in 1990. This is a Greco roman match (no leg holds/moves).

Monday, August 16, 2010

Linda McMahon's Current Son In Law Talks About Doing Simulated Necrophilia Scene

This is how things worked in the WWE while Linda McMahon was CEO.



Linda McMahon's campaign sure does appeal to those with a warped sense of humor.

 

Friday, July 23, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hunk of the Day



I know I'll get bored with their taste in hunks eventually, so it goes here, not on the side of the page. In the meantime, enjoy.

(Hat Tip: Wicked Gay Blog)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Politico Editorial Meeting

I swiped this baby from B12 Solopsism.

For people who don't follow politics obsessively, Politico is a far right propaganda blog that plays at being a serious news source on politics.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Hooray for Wondermark!

Wondermark is a fabulous cartoon with contemporary themes drawn in a 19th Century style. The most recent one, linked below, fabulous.

#637; In which Growth is noticed

I wish The Onion still carried it.

 

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Cool Video of People Expressing Anger at British Petroleum

This video is visually interesting and would be even if there wasn't an anti British Petroleum message which is completed at the end. (Hat Tip: It's My Right to Be Left of Center)



Watch on YouTube!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Alabama Politician Lectures Others About Speaking English

Tim James, running for the Gopper nomination for governor in Alabama, dares to demand other people speak English. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't speak English either. He speaks Cracker.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Wanting Better Wangs

I was watching a bit of Corporate News Network while stretching at the gym, and they had a fabulous closed captioning blooper. Captioning live TV is bound to be error prone, but this was one of the better ones.

The story was about strikes at Honda plants in China. The captioning for the story said the "workers want better wangs."

I think wang improvement is a laudable goal worldwide.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Saggy Pants Crisis

Here's some unintentional humor from a New York politician who has forgotten what it's like to be young. If you think his rhetoric is over the top, then you would be correct.



The younger generation always has fashions and attitudes that offend and baffle the older generation.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sarah Palin's New Show



Considering Palin's death threats against Democrats, I wonder if she plans on cooking and eating them too.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Another Episode of Onward Christian Dullards

It's finally here, Episode 12 of Onward Christian Dullards: . Danger! Dullards Approaching the Workplace!.

Time for you to have some fun with militant fundamentalism. If you are knew to this sinful web comedy/soap, you can start at the start with Episode 1.

I've Stolen Another Meme

Poor My 2 Cents. I keep stealing memes that were stolen there fair and square. Here's the latest.

Negativity meme.

Foods which disgust the crap out of me: Okra, Beef, Hush Puppies, and Liver would be a good start.

TV show I loathe: Every unreality show.

Movie I loathe: Inglorious Bassterds by the inglorious asswipe, Quentin Tarentino, is the latest.

Music genres I loathe: Country Western Torture (cwt)

Magazine which annoys me: Anything by Martha Stewart

Makes me cranky at restaurant: children

Makes me cranky in public: children

Makes me cranky in general: obsessive hyphenation

Pisses me off at home: bottoms that don’t put the rubber on me. (I'm actually stealing the answer because I feel the same way.)

Pisses me off at work: My psychotic coworker.

Pisses me off in general: hot guys who are tops

Makes me impatient at home: Waiting for web pages to load.

Makes me impatient at work: any time before quittin time

Makes me impatient in public: people who walk slowly on sidewalks and don't give you room to get around them.

Celebrity I hate: Simon what's his name.

Music artist I hate: Justin Timberlake

I could care less about: Sarah Palin's breasts, but that doesn't stop her from showing them off all the time.

Annoys the crap out of me weekdays: waking up to an alarm

Annoys the crap out of me weekends: too $@#%#$ short

Blogger’s habit that annoys you: posts apologizing for not posting

Feature on your blog you hate: If I hated a feature on my blog, it would be gone.

Movie star you despise: Chuck Norris

Politician that you hate: all of them

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Part of the Original Church Lady Skit

My temporary obsession with The Church Lady continues with some video I found on YouTube from part of the original SNL skit where she appeared.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Another Stolen Meme

I like stealing memes from My2Cents, who steals them from others gleefully.

What If meme…

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
I couldn't limit myself to one person.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Pat Boone

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Jon Stewart

4. What is your favorite cheese?
White stilton

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Turkey, cranberry, and arugula on mulitgrain bread

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Dennis Quaid

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Trent Reznor

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
A fresh supply of caffeine. I will have worn myself out fucking them.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Berlin

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Wonder why I found a $100 bill in Berlin

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Already working if I think I'm seeing an angel.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
NYC a week ago to do a lottery ticket with the winning numbers.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Religion is banned.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
Fire Donald Trump! This would be an unreality show where somebody gets to fire that POS.

15.What is your favorite curse word?
Cheney!

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Promise myself to never hook up on Craigslist again.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
My nunzilla!

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Kill the angel of death. Duh.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Transforming air into $100 bills.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Fucking the hell out of this 6'5" hairy muscleman.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
The day I found out that most people were heterosexual.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?
Canada. It will be easier to spend my US $100 bills there.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
Whatever the Dugout is called these days.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”?
Sarah Palin's. I want her to be able to see me from her house.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Charles Nelson Reilly

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My grandfather on my mother's side.

27. What’s your theme song?
Closer, by NIN.

 

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hot Muscleboy Tries to Act Like Macho Top Man

I bet he's a total bottom in real life, which would make him a whole lot of fun. Anyway, there's a lot of unintentional humor in the porn industry. (The video is swiped from The Lisp)

Meme Swiping for Saturday - The 6ws Meme

I stole this from My 2 Cents who stole it from body else, who stole it from somebody else, and so on.

This is the 6Ws meme.

Who…
Is easy to love? Somebody who bribes me with sex and chocolate
Do you just wanna smack? Can you line up a bunch of banksters for me? Ratzi would work too.
Do you trust? Me, Dennis Kucinich, and that hot guy I saw at the gym
Do you talk to when you’re alone? I don't talk to anybody when I'm alone.

What…
Dangerous things do you do while driving? I drive early in the morning sometimes before I'm really awake.
Are you allergic to? Cigarette smoke, Republicans, and people who are always Jesusing at me
Is Satan’s last name? Murdoch.
Is the freakiest thing in your house? My Obsessive Compulsive action figure

When…
Is it time to turn over a new leaf? Never, let it fall and mulch your garden.
Will you be all that you can be? Is this an ad for Army recruiting?
Is enough enough? There's never enough hot sex or chocolate.
Do you go to the dark side? When It's Hot Outside

Where…
Are your pants? If you were hotter, they would be around my ankles.
Is your last will and testament? I'm giving all my money to people who will throw pies at Sarah Palin and that annoying guy from American Idol.
Is your junk food stash? Fuck that. You stole from my last one.
Is Carmen Sandiego? Wherever Lou Dobbs is located. She is Dobbs in drag.

Why…
Was the Lone Ranger alone? He was almost as ugly as your average teabagger.
Was The Scarlet Letter scarlet? To get people all hot and bothered
Are musicians sexy and plumbers not? My plumber is hot.
Are there no seat belts on school buses? To prove that there are people who find children even more irritating than I do.

Would you…
Swim the English Channel for a doughnut and coffee? I wouldn't even try to do it for a guaranteed chance to fuck Dennis Quaid.
Forgive someone who deliberately hurt you? No, but I might fake it while extracting my revenge.
Rather believe a lie if it hurt you less than the truth? Nah, it just means repressing the hurt which bites you in the ass.
You still be alive if you were sucked out of an airplane window? If I was getting the blow job while the plane was on the ground.

 

Friday, February 26, 2010

"Cooking with Republicans"

This video was swiped from Blue Gal.



I was never that fond of Astroglide, but I digress.

 

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Curling Is Hysterical

This week, I saw curling for the first time at the gym on TV, and I can't get enough. It's still funny, no matter how much I watch. Here's some curling that isn't from the Olympics so you can share in the giggles.





They actually train for curling. LOL



By the way, curling was invented in Scotland, and I'm more Scottish than anything else.

 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Performance Art Parody of Fundamentalists

It's so much fun to make fun of religious extremists. (Hat Tip: Voenix Rising)



By the way, there is a God Hates Figs website again, though I don't think it's affiliated.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Word of the Year - Hopium

Cindy Sheehan showed that she is far more patient than I. I stopped watching State of the Union addresses during the Carter Administration because I didn't want to spend such a long period of time listening to politicians lie to me.

Anyway, she used (coined?) the fabulous word "hopium" during the analysis she did of President Obama's SOTU address. It's in this paragraph, if you the meaning isn't self explanatory. (bolding mine)
Obama also said: “I will never quit.” That doesn’t fill me with hopium because the only thing he has done over the past year is make everything from foreign to domestic issues worse. Please “quit” Obama—for the sake of everyone—QUIT!

Hrrmmm...are Obama speeches the hopium of the masses?

Sunday Stealing on a Weekday: The Negativity Meme

I'm feeling extra cranky cause I'm sick, so this meme from the Sunday Stealing blog will be extra fun.

Sunday Stealing: The Negativity Meme

Foods which disgust the crap out of me: Okra, and weird fried stuff that Southerners like (snack cakes, candy bars, ice cream, etc.)

TV show I loathe: The Super Bowl, Unreality TV, The Daily Show, all of Faux News, Nancy Disgrace, Everything on CBS (It's a good thing I got rid of my cable.)

Movie I loathe: Inglorious Basterds

Music genres I loathe: I would say Country Western, but I don't really think it counts as a music genre.

Magazine which annoys me: Any magazine that involves the anal retentive Martha Stewart.

Makes me cranky at restaurant: Children

Makes me cranky in public: Children

Makes me cranky in general: Children

Pisses me off at home: Weather colder than 20 F

Pisses me off at work: Crap technology

Pisses me off in general: Religion

Makes me impatient at home: Junk Mail, especially all the menus I get from restaurants that serve pig swill

Makes me impatient at work: Mondays

Makes me impatient in public: People who block aisles at the supermarket.

Celebrity I hate: Taylor Swift

Music artist I hate: Justin Timberlake (I can't stand any guy who is marketed as a sex symbol that I never would be willing to have sex with under any circumstances. I also hate his singing.)

I could care less about: Stupid Facebook games. Every time I read about somebody wanting their Farmville crops fertilized, I want to shit on their lawns.

Annoys the crap out of me weekdays: Waking up to an alarm.

Annoys the crap out of me weekends: They are only two days.

Blogger's habit that annoys you: Posts apologizing for not posting. (Maybe I should apologize for this.)

Feature on your blog you hate: I got rid of all of those.

Movie star you despise: Robert Redford

Politician that you hate: You would fall asleep reading such a long list.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Check Out This Wondermark Comic

#587; Finally—Purpose!

Wondermark is a wonderful comic that used to be in the Onion before they decimated their comics section. It is an anachronistic comic that mixes 19th Century American drawing and fashion styles with contemporary topics.

Check it out!

Hysterical Video from the Fred Phelps Gang

Lady Gaga's career is getting a huge boost as she is being targeted by Fred Phelps' gang of anti American, homophobic, and misogynistic religious extremists. They even made a parody video so terrible that it is quite funny. Enjoy! (Hat Tip: MuckMakers)



Alas, there is a serious side to this. Fred Phelps and his cult say the things in public that the Christian Right extremists say to each other when the general public is not around. (I know because I spent years monitoring the Christian Taliban.) The video is funny, but the hate it represents is far too common in this country.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Shit, I'm Not Cussing Enough

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites

54%? That's fucked. I should at least be getting a passing grade of 70%.

I checked, and my more serious blog is even more up shit creek. Here's the asshole results from Godless Liberal Homo:

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

Piss! Shit! Fuck! Hell!

(I hate failing grades.)

 

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Giggle Worthy Fundamentalist Paranoia Over Lady Gaga Video

The paranoid and sexphobic mindset of militant Christian fundamentalists certainly causes all sorts of problems for society, but I have to admit that it is a lot of fun to laugh at sometimes.

Hat Tip: IDiosyntocracy

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Madge Was Evil

There were lots of annoying characters in commercials, especially the 70's. However, none was as disgusting and grotesquely comical as Madge, the sinister manicurist from the Palmolive commercials. Every time, that crusty woman with a lascivious smile acted out on her sexual fetish to grab women's hands and put them into little bowls filled with green slime. SNL should have done a parody where one of Madge's victims runs out of the beauty parlor screaming.

Go ahead and watch! It's like a car accident! You can't turn your eyes away!





To this day, I still can't buy Palmolive.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Jackie Beat Is Pure Evil

That's why we love her. (Hat Tip: The Lisp)

"Don't Tell Me You're Gay"



Have a Wicked New Year!