Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Second Coming of Jesus

Somebody, bring a towel.



Remember, Jesus saves with double coupons.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Another "Borrowed" Meme

I "borrowed" this one from My 2 Cents.

1. The phone rings. Who will it to be? A robocall
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? I leave it near my car so I don't screw the employees out of jobs.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? The thing that gets guys to like you most is to listen to them talk about themselves. It's also useful since I have trouble coming up with things to say when I don't know people.
4. Do you take compliments well? Try me.
5. Do you play Sudoku? Yes, but I'd rather play with a muscular bottom with a hairy chest.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? I would find the nearest bed and breakfast and have a nice night.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yes, and I'm still bitter about it.
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? Secretly watching porn...er...pro wrestling.
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she was married, would you? I almost never notice when women are lusting after me.
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? I don't even have religious beliefs.
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I like it when they get down on their knees and beg.
12. Use three words to describe yourself? Your worst nightmare.
13. Do any songs make you cry? Country
"music" makes me sad enough to cry because it's so terrible.
14. Are you continuing your education? I prefer "educating" bottoms.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? The only kind of gun I shoot isn't shown on TV.
16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah, and they turned out worse than pictures usually do.
17. How often do you read books? Not enough.
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I think about sex in the past, present, and future.
19. What is your favorite children’s book? My Pet Goat.
20.What color are your eyes? hazel
21. How tall are you? Tall, but even taller bottoms are hot.
22. Where is your dream house located? Next to gay bars and a Ghirardeli Ice Cream store.
23. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? My cell phone...to call the fire department.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? I’ve repressed the memories.
25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? I just got up, so I haven't left my house.
26. Do you like mustard? Yes, but not as a lubricant.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hot Guy Reminds Brits About Their Time Change

Love his chest hair. (Hat Tip Voenix Rising)



I think that boy needs to learn how to serve.

BTW: the US time change is on Sunday, November 1.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Cable Isn't Working Properly, and Time Warner Cable Refuses to Fix It

The arrogance of big corporations is so annoying. This morning, my upstairs cable stopped working, though it is back on tonight. However, now my downstairs cable is messed up.

My cable box has an error message that says "bypass" on it, and they replaced the old system for finding shows with a new one that is incredibly clunky, slow to load, and doesn't work when you go through extra screens (each load slow) to find the place which should work properly.

I called Time Warner, and the tech support person said that she couldn't fix it because it is an "upgrade." A broken replacement for something that worked quite well is an "upgrade"? I finally understand why Judge Judy is famous for saying, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Changing to FIOS or Dish network would be a pain, but if they don't fix this mess, I guess I'll have to.

sigh

 

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Are You Going to Buy Levi's Nuts?



Yep, this is the famous commercial with the guy who had to put up with way too much crap from Osama bin Palin. He's good looking, but way too young for me.

 

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Stolen Meme

I stole this from My 2 Cents, which stole it from somebody else. Feel free to swipe this meme too, if you feel like it.

My roommate and I once:
drove each other nuts.
Never in my life have I:
fantasized about sex with Tom Cruise.
High school was:
surprisingly similar to a penitentiary.
When I’m nervous:
I fantasize about men sexier than Tom Cruise.
My hair:
has receded.
When I was 5:
I noticed it was more fun to wrestle with little boys than little girls.
When I turn my head left:
I see bills I need to pay.
I should be:
pleasured by a harem of hairy musclemen.
By this time next year:
Obama will still have US troops in Iraq.
My favorite aunt is:
a surprisingly good driver.
I have a hard time understanding:
why anyone watches QVC or the Food Network.
You know I like you if:
I am screwing your brains out.
My ideal breakfast is:
in Barcelona.
If you visit my home town:
you will have a difficult time staying awake.
If you spend the night at my house:
you’ll be lucky to be able to sit down.
The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:
jellyfish.
I shouldn’t have been:
willing to have sex with the last guy I played with.
Last night I:
fantasized about the ultra nerdy muscleboy at the gym.
A better name for me would be:
Sir.
I’ve been told I look like:
a really terrible movie director.
If I could have any car, it would be:
one I could sell for big bucks.