Stolen Meme

I stole this from My 2 Cents, which stole it from somebody else. Feel free to swipe this meme too, if you feel like it.

My roommate and I once:
drove each other nuts.
Never in my life have I:
fantasized about sex with Tom Cruise.
High school was:
surprisingly similar to a penitentiary.
When I’m nervous:
I fantasize about men sexier than Tom Cruise.
My hair:
has receded.
When I was 5:
I noticed it was more fun to wrestle with little boys than little girls.
When I turn my head left:
I see bills I need to pay.
I should be:
pleasured by a harem of hairy musclemen.
By this time next year:
Obama will still have US troops in Iraq.
My favorite aunt is:
a surprisingly good driver.
I have a hard time understanding:
why anyone watches QVC or the Food Network.
You know I like you if:
I am screwing your brains out.
My ideal breakfast is:
in Barcelona.
If you visit my home town:
you will have a difficult time staying awake.
If you spend the night at my house:
you’ll be lucky to be able to sit down.
The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:
jellyfish.
I shouldn’t have been:
willing to have sex with the last guy I played with.
Last night I:
fantasized about the ultra nerdy muscleboy at the gym.
A better name for me would be:
Sir.
I’ve been told I look like:
a really terrible movie director.
If I could have any car, it would be:
one I could sell for big bucks.